Page 44 - Free Yourself From

Taking Action for Knowing and Being Yourself 27

you been able to reframe your self-image as that belief has become
obsolete?
I was sure when I was younger that I wasn’t creative and I shied
away from activities like drawing or writing stories. But I’m pretty
good at coming up with new and innovative ideas at work today, so
maybe that’s not true about me anymore . . . or maybe it never was
true. Maybe it was just an opinion.

Step 2: Share this information with a mentor, coach, family member,
trusted friend, or spouse. They can provide an objective view on
how accurate those beliefs are and on whether they’re empower-
ing or unnecessarily limiting for you.

Step 3: Work on changing beliefs that don’t ring true anymore.

If, for example, you believe you don’t speak up and aren’t influ-
ential in meetings, observe yourself in meetings to see whether that’s
really true. Are you good at speaking up during small, informal meet-
ings, but more reticent at bigger, more formal sessions? Are you able
to provide good analytical feedback when you’re asked for your
input? Do you provide good agendas or other prep work that makes
meetings more focused and productive?
Focusing on the ways you do make yourself heard and influence
outcomes will help you to see yourself differently. And you can use that
as a launching point for changing your hardwiring. If you’re already
more influential than you thought, then maybe it’s not that big a leap
to offer input before you’re asked or to be more assertive in larger
groups. Of course, speaking up at one meeting isn’t going to change
your belief. You have to behave consistently over time to completely
uproot and supplant it. Start by asserting your new belief in envi-
ronments that are relatively safe, say in a team meeting, rather than
a meeting with the board.