Page 270 - Just Promoted A 12 Month Road Map for Success in Your New Leadership Role

Creating Your New Life Integration 255

commuting over two hours a day each way. He would be home few
evenings before 8 p.m., and he would have to leave the house by
6 a.m. He would see little of the children, whose bedtime was 9 to
10 p.m., and evening dinner, an important family ritual, would be with-
out Bob. So they decided against commuting. Unforeseen implications
of the decision to relocate included the following:
■ They had to sell an affordable, comfortable home they
enjoyed. Even though their company paid for the move, took over
the selling of their old home, and helped them find a new home, it
was nonetheless a time-consuming and arduous task. Linda spent a
lot of time looking for the right place that was within their price
range. Homes in the new area were much more expensive, taxes
were higher, and the mortgage payment, with higher interest rates,
was substantially higher.
■ Their daughter lost the very supportive situation in which she was
comfortable and successful, and she had to work out a new set of
relationships with teachers. She had to find new friends who could
accept her disability. Their son was old enough to have strong feel-
ings about leaving his buddies who had been his friends since
kindergarten, his scouting group, Little League, and his church
group. He was very unhappy with the move.
■ Linda lost a job she loved, her status as a respected professional,
and the income that had made her feel that she was contributing to
her family. Giving up her job also reinforced feelings of her own vul-
nerability, that now she was totally dependent on Bob for her sup-
port, a feeling that made her angry and engendered feelings of
dependency and powerlessness, which she resented. To make mat-
ters worse, Linda had difficulty finding a new job in the tight job
market in the new area.
■ Bob, Linda, and their children surrendered strong community ties
with their longtime neighbors and with friends they had made
through the local parent-teachers’ organization, Little League, and
their church. They moved away from friends they had known for
years, as well as away from parents and close relatives. For years