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Growing Your Crystal

Creating or Strengthening a Habit

• Form and strengthen the connection between the desired action
and the positive result it will generate by taking specific note of

your expected and actual successes.
• Develop a cuing system to remind you to repeat your new behavior

at regular intervals. Try to find a cue that will become a natural
stimulus in the future, one that’s connected with the desired
outcome.
• Set a time frame for repetition (such as daily for four to six weeks),
and make a conscious effort to follow it.

the fi rst five minutes of your daily commute pondering and defi ning your

approach to a specific individual with whom you’re planning to converse
that day. After 30 days, you’ll likely fi nd yourself being cued at the start
of your commute to think more consciously about the approaches you’ll
employ for your most important interactions that day.
Of course, this is just one example, and you must choose what
will work for you. The key is to understand that you’ll begin with
an action-outcome pattern in which you take specifi c action because
you’re motivated by the outcome you’ll achieve. This requires con-
scious effort. Through repetition and using the elements mentioned
here, you will eventually move to a stimulus-response pattern. In this
pattern, a given stimulus (such as lack of overtness about the purpose
of a meeting) will lead to an appropriate habitual response on your
part (such as asking about the need for agreement). This is when your
new habit will be cemented, so that in the future it will require a lot
less conscious attention. This also might be the best time to choose
5
another new form of task overtness or relationship clarity, and begin
the habit-building process again.
As you form your new habits, resist the temptation to come up with
a deadline by which you expect to see certain results. No clairvoyant

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