Page 143 - Make Work Great

When Growth Is Diffi cult

The Somewhat Diffi cult Person
What about people who, on your desirable-to-diffi cult scale, fall
somewhere in the middle? They may not be your favorite people in
the world, but you do have some positive interactions with them.
You also think you could begin to role-model at least certain types of
overtness and clarity to them and perhaps someday be able to include
them in your crystal. On one hand, they might make (somewhat tenu-
ous) additions in progress; on the other hand, you have had your
share of diffi culty with them. Should you proceed?
To answer that question, you need to be painfully honest with your-
self about your intent. Why do you want to add one of these people
to your crystal? Ask yourself directly and refl ect on the answer. You
may fi nd you want to “bring that person around,” teach that person
something that will “do him or her good,” or something similar. If
you’re trying to change the other person this way, even if you have the
best possible broader goals, you should abandon your quest. Refocus
your attention on the creation and maintenance of other members of
your crystal where success is more likely.
Why? Recall the mechanics of the organic process you’re employ-
ing. The whole system depends on other people discovering, in their
own time, that by interacting with you according to the new patterns
you’re demonstrating, they realize a greater benefi t. If you go into
the situation trying to change a person, you’ll be much more likely
to try to direct him or her, obviously or covertly, to act the way you
want. The person is no longer faced with the question “What’s in it
for me?” but with the question “Should I do what I’m being told?”
You may or may not be successful in getting compliance, but you’re
unlikely to inspire organic crystalline growth.*

*Of course there is nothing inherently wrong with attempting to change someone’s behavior appropri-
ately. If you are in a managerial role, for example, it is your responsibility to set performance expec-
tations for your employees and to hold them accountable to those expectations. Taking this a step
further, you could set expectations with your staff regarding overtness of task and clarity of relation-
ships. Just remember that until your employees are able to perceive benefi t to themselves from what
they are doing, there will be no further organic growth beyond compliance with your directives.

131