Page 228 - Make Work Great

You . . . as the Defi ner

being cautious to employ the most useful and respectful approach to
others, and defi ning the need for agreement as narrowly as possible
in each situation. You need only make your discipline strong enough
to guide you in every situation, and you will automatically avoid the
drama triangle; its three pre-scripted roles simply cannot exist at the
same time as real overtness and clarity. The roles are not real.
Stay true to your patterns and your continued success as defi ner
will take care of itself. Your discipline will naturally lead you to make
adjustment as needed by paying attention to the cues around you and
modifying your own behavior so that you continue to infl uence your
environment without engendering resistance. This is not to say that
you will make perfect decisions, take perfect actions, or never fall
into the trap of playing one of the three roles. But the stronger and
more consistent your discipline, the more likely you will make fewer
such mistakes and recognize and correct the ones you do make more
quickly. Your decisions will tend to optimize the ratio of output ver-
sus stress. And in the inevitable moments when an improved culture
or a more enjoyable workplace experience seem impossibly out of
reach, your exit from hopelessness will be far quicker if you diligently
maintain your patterns.

Evaluating Advice
Take equal care to employ your practices of overtness and clarity
and to avoid the roles of the drama triangle when evaluating sugges-
tions from others. As we’ve said and you’ve surely realized, you will
face many situations beyond what can be addressed in this book;
the complex issues already mentioned—group dynamics, power, and
hierarchy—are just a few examples. Seemingly credible advice regard-
ing these topics abounds, and as you become a defi ner of culture and

your influence grows, such advice will come at you from all angles.
Those ahead of you and higher up in your organization will offer it,
framed as helpful suggestions, admonitions, or perhaps thinly veiled
words of warning. Peers and employees will offer it, perhaps as for-

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