Page 77 - Make Work Great

Clarity Within Relationships

progress updates to the team every Friday and providing answers
within a day to business process questions that are presented to me
by our team members. I’d like to confi rm with you that I have a cor-
rect and complete understanding of what you expect from me.”

In the fi rst option, this person is putting you on the spot. In the best pos-
sible case, you’re ready with a clear answer and you give it. Even so, there
may be a part of you that is disappointed in him; it sounds as though he
hasn’t known what he was supposed to be doing until now! In the worst
case, you don’t have a meaningful response on the tip of your tongue.
That puts you in an even more difficult position. Do you tell him you’re

not sure or ask him to wait for an answer while you check your notes?
That sends a signal that what he’s doing isn’t that important, which
could disappoint and demoralize him. Do you feel a little defensive,
embarrassed that you should know the answer? If so, he may pick up on
your nervous energy and become nervous himself. Or do you throw the
question back at him, asking, “Why don’t you tell me what you think
you’re supposed to be doing?” That gets you out of the hot seat and puts
him in it, but it doesn’t help with any real information exchange.
The second option is much easier on you, as the receiver of the
request. Your team member presented his current understanding of
his summary outputs as a platform for discussion. He shared his
understanding of his primary goals and gave you a starting point to
agree or disagree with them. You’re much less likely to feel defen-
sive because you’re not being questioned, and you’re much less likely
to make him feel defensive because he has invited your edits to his
understanding. Nobody is demoralized, and nobody is disappointed.
This approach has a much better chance of leading to the exchange
of information that was its original goal.
In preparing to fi nd answers to your own questions, consider tak-
ing a conversational approach like your fi ctitious employee’s second
alternative. What you talk about should include your current under-
standing of the answer to your question and an invitation to the other
person to edit that understanding.

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