Page 201 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

Gender Microaggressions 175

Most women who hear a man state “ I ’ m not sexist, I have a wife and daughters,
you know, ” “ I don ’ t see sex when I promote people, ” or “ I treat everyone the
same whether they are a man or a woman ” may immediately become vigilant
and “ on guard. ” Experience has shown them that most men possess strong gen-
der bias and the denial is either a “ cover up ” or “ lack of self-awareness about
their actions or attitudes. ” In situations where the topic of sexism or gender bias
becomes salient, such men may become uncomfortable, anxious, or silent on
the topic, for fear of appearing sexist. One of their greatest fears and apprehen-
sions is that whatever they say or do in a social situation will appear sexist.

8. Invisibility — Women have often described the experience of “ invisibil-
ity ” —of being unseen, unworthy of recognition, unimportant, powerless, and
overlooked. They are not seen by employers as candidates for promotion,
ignored when they make contributions on a work team, and called on less
frequently by both male and female teachers in the classroom. In his book
Invisible Man, Ralph Ellison (1972) writes about his racial invisibility: “I am an
invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allan Poe;
nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am a man of substance,

of flesh and bone, fiber, and liquids—and I might even be said to possess a

mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like
the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I
have been surrounded by mirrors of hard, distorting glass. When they

approach me they see only my surrounding, themselves, or figments of their
imagination—indeed, everything and anything except me.” (p. 3).
While referring to his invisibility as a Black man, the description given is
similar to the experience of a multitude of marginalized groups in our society,
such as women. The invisibility syndrome occurs when the talents, abilities,
and character of women are not acknowledged or valued by others or by the
larger society (Franklin, 1999). Gender microaggressions involve forgetting the
names of female employees, but having no difficulty remembering male ones,

serving men before women, or not recalling the ideas of a female coworker.
9. Sexist Humor/Jokes — It is difficult for any of us not to be exposed to

sexist jokes or humor, told by friends and family, in cartoons or commercials,
by stand - up comedians, and in TV programs/movies.
A very common joke describes how a male boss reacts to a female coworker when
the work team is faced with a crisis. She asks: “ How can I help? ” He responds: “ Just
sit there and look pretty. ”
When some form of this joke is told, it generally evokes much laughter. Yet,

the hidden message is filled with stereotypes, is demeaning, reinforces restric-
tions on the behavior of women, and is a clear “ put - down. ” The stereotypes

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