Page 199 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

Gender Microaggressions 173

profanity or drinking, ” and be “ domestic. ” In dating relationships, women
were expected to allow “ guys to make the decisions ” and “ not to undermine
their authority. ” Getting an education for women is seen as less important
than finding the right man and getting married. “ Don ’ t worry your pretty

little head, ” “ So, when are you going to get married? ” and “ Why do you want
to take a job away from a man who needs it? ” are examples of gender - role
microaggressions that convey “ A women ’ s place is in the home. ”
Breaking gender roles can result in punitive and negative consequences.
A man who has multiple sex partners is seen as a “ stud. ” A woman who
engages in such behavior is called promiscuous, “ easy, ” a slut, or a whore.

A man who takes command at the office and who shows flashes of anger may

be perceived as assertive, competent, and “ take charge. ” A woman who exhib-

its similar behavior is seen as “ bitchy, ” “ unladylike, ” “ emotional, ” or angry

and hostile (see Table 8.1). Punishment of those who break role prescriptions
is captured in these statements by a female team leader who entered a primarily
male worksite:
“ It can be very lonely here. They hired me to manage a team of architects, but
they don ’ t like me telling them what to do. It ’ s almost like they just wanted to fi ll a
quota . . . ‘ You know, we have a woman in the office, you know and that ’ s diversity. ’

My first week here was horrible. They resented me as the boss, insinuated I didn ’ t
know my place. They go out to lunch together and never invite me. I just stick to
myself now. ”
6. Denial of the Reality of Sexism — These manifestations of microaggressions
are the numerous messages sent to women that (1) sexism is a thing of the
past, (2) women are actually now “ advantaged ” in our society, (3) those who
complain about sexism are oversensitive, (4) women are externalizing their own
shortcomings or unhappiness, and (5) trivialize sexist incidents. In other
words, women ’ s experiences of sexism are invalidated. Men and even many
women may share a belief that sexism is a thing of the past and that it no
longer represents a problem or obstacle to the career ambitions, for example,

of women. The playing field is now considered level and competence will rise
to the top.
In a faculty search in our department, for example, one male member of the
search committee shared with me that women candidates were advantaged.
He lamented that “ Men don ’ t stand a chance these days of being hired,
because they are the wrong gender. ” Female employees tell stories of how
their bosses would downplay their complaints of sexist behavior with a dis-
missive comment such as, “ Don ’ t be so oversensitive, it ’ s just harmless fun. ”

1/20/10 2:42:12 PM
c08.indd 173 1/20/10 2:42:12 PM
c08.indd 173