Page 210 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

CHAPTER NINE

Sexual - Orientation

Microaggressions and

Heterosexism

The most effective way to keep a group out of any discourse is to keep them
invisible. The struggle to be visible and validated is a common theme in contem-
porary lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) cultures . . . . Prior to the
1970s, anyone known to be homosexual or “ LGB ” was at great risk to lose his or
her job, home, and family. Students were suspended and expelled from most col-
leges and universities for being known to be homosexual. The operative phrase
here was “ known to be, ” an early form of “ Don ’ t ask, don ’ t tell. ” The price of
being out to yourself was the deep closet. That closet took many forms: (a) the
professional closet, with a healthy personal life, closed support network, and
careful efforts to protect one another; (b) the painful closet of nearly complete
secrecy and fear; or (c) the closet of internalized self - hatred or complete denial to
self and others. (Douce, 2005, p. 59)
. . . I became aware of my sexual orientation only in my late teens. When I fi rst
experienced a same - sex attraction, I labeled it a “ close friendship ” and pro-
ceeded to deny my true self. My upbringing told me that being gay was wrong,

“ morally depraved. ” As an only son, I was expected to get married and have
a son to perpetuate the family name. How could I disappoint my family? How
could I allow myself to give in to “ moral weakness ” ? . . . For several years,
I struggled to maintain a heterosexual identity. I dated women but could never

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