Page 212 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

186 sexual - orientation microaggressions and heterosexism

a heterosexual society, they are socialized into such beliefs, yet their burgeoning
sexual-orientation identity increasingly fills them with thoughts and feelings

that conflict with social norms of being and behaving. These “ abhorrent ”

feelings of same-sex or bisexual attractions are denied, as the person strug-
gles to maintain a false illusion to themselves and others that they are
heterosexual. At some level, deep down, they begin to realize the conditioned
“ frightening ” truth.
Third, Douce (2005) raises the issue of “ self - hate, ” often referred to as
internalized homophobia or internalized hate (Frost & Myer, 2009) or internal-
ized oppression (Szymanski & Gupta, 2009). Perhaps the most inclusive term
is “ internalized oppression, ” which refers to the internalization and accept-
ance of negative societal attitudes, beliefs, and stereotypes directed toward a
devalued or marginalized group by the LGBT individual. LGBTs, for example,
may come to believe in their own inferiority, deviancy, and sinfulness. Their
attitudes toward themselves may be self - loathing, fear of themselves, shame,
and guilt for their existence, and a desire to deny their sexual - orientation
identity.

The first “ person ” to whom I came out was God. I was then 14 years old and was
secretly in love with a male classmate. Around the same time, I first learned from

a sermon in church that homosexuality was sinful. Subsequently, for a couple
years, when I prayed at night, I asked God in tears to take back my life as soon
as possible because He must have made a mistake in creating my “ wrong exist-
ence. ” I felt ashamed, guilty, and was in pain to think of my gay orientation.
Nevertheless, I could neither deny my feelings of love toward that classmate
nor understand the intrinsic sinfulness of genuinely loving another person.
(Chan, 2005, p. 47)

Last, there is a conspiracy of silence in our society to keep LGBTs and their
issues invisible in our daily lives and in the broader society at large. Silence
comes from the fears of “ coming out, ” from the fact that LGBTs are not phys-

ically identifiable (unlike race or gender), from the discomfort of others in
recognizing and addressing sexual-orientation issues, and from a society that
deals with LGBTs through a formal and informal policy of “ Don ’ t ask, don ’ t tell. ”
Thus, invisibility makes it possible for many straights to state, “ I don ’ t personally
know anyone who is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. ” They do, but simply do not
know they do (Blank & Slipp, 1994). Later in this chapter, we present some
social psychological reasons why invisibility plays such a powerful role in the
sexual-orientation experience of LGBTs.

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