Page 228 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

202 sexual - orientation microaggressions and heterosexism

quotes: (Awareness) “ Am I gay? ” to (Dissonance) “ Oh no, I may be gay, ”
to (Acceptance) “ I ’ m probably gay, ” to (Identity Integration) “ I ’ m gay and
I ’ m okay. ”
1. Identity Confusion — This stage is characterized by being socialized and
playing a heterosexual role, but experiencing same - sex feelings and a sense of
“ differentness. ” “ Who am I? ” expresses the confusion. Dissonance and inner
turmoil caused by these urges may lead to feelings of shame, despair, and
even suicidal ideation.
2. Identity Comparison — The person now begins to compare his or her own
heterosexual messages/portrayals/self - deceptions to increasing realization of

his or her gay/lesbian proclivities. For the first time the person increasingly
entertains the notion that they may be gay. Four potential responses have been

identified: (1) compartmentalizing one ’ s life by portraying a heterosexual
public persona from the private gay/lesbian life; (2) accept one ’ s homo-
sexual behavior but reject the notion of adopting a public homosexual identity;
(3) accept self as gay/lesbian but refuse to engage in same - sex behaviors; and
(4) reject both lifestyles and self-identities by seeking to change oneself (con-
version therapy).

3. Identity Tolerance — The person may begin to accept their gay/lesbian iden-
tity and progressively move away from the heterosexual world. Contact with
LGBTs increases and the person may enter the gay community. Experiences
with these initial contacts, however, have a major psychological effect. If the
contacts are negative or undesirable, they may choose to once again inhibit
same - sex feelings and behaviors. However, if the experiences are positive, it
opens the door to a full adoption of gay/lesbian identity.
4. Identity Acceptance — At this stage, the person begins to have greater

contact with the gay community, develops friendships with LGBTs, and
tolerance moves to acceptance. The person selectively begins to disclose his
or her sexual - orientation identity.
5. Identity Pride — The person is likely to experience increasingly positive feel-

ings with a strong sense of identification with the gay community and to attain

a sense of heightened sociopolitical awareness (internalized heterosexism is the
result of oppression and prejudice). They may divide the world into two camps:
heterosexuals who are blamed for their intolerance and discrimination and
gays/lesbians who are credible, significant, and a positive force in society. They

may become overtly political in their struggles against societal heterosexism.
6. Identity Synthesis — The “ us ” versus “ them ” mentality begins to disap-
pear with the realization that many heterosexuals are understanding, credible,

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