Page 92 - Reading Between the Sign Intercultural Communication for Sign Language Interpreters

Do Americans Really Have a Culture? 77

haps the sharing of personal stories carries a different point than
just passing the time; its aim is to share valuable information or
pool resources.

Friendship

Many Americans have deep, close personal ties with friends, which
last over long years if not a lifetime. But close friendships are
often difficult for Americans to maintain because of the extreme
mobility of the American lifestyle. We, therefore, also tend to have
a wide circle of acquaintances we call “friends,” who are simply
people whose company we enjoy. For large numbers of Ameri-
cans, in fact, these are the only friends they have, and it is this
friendship pattern that is most evident—and often disturbing—to
people from other cultures. Over the course of our lives, we may
easily count a hundred people as friends in a sort of revolving
door of friendships. Friends come into our lives when we have
something in common—the same school, job, hobby, or the same-
age children, but when one of us moves or our interests change,
we tend to drift apart. Although we enjoy entertaining our friends
and are willing to do them small favors from time to time, we
generally avoid imposing on each other. We expect our friends to
be supportive, cheer us up if we are down, and accept us as we
are, but if a friend is seen as too needy, we may soon pull away.
This pattern of mainstream American friendship, however,
refers mostly to modern urban relationships. In smaller towns
and in times gone by, it was more common that one’s school
chums would become one’s lifelong companions. Nowadays, on
the other hand, we tend to choose our friends to fit our present
circumstances, creating a “support system” to call on in times of
need.
In other cultures, friendship is defined differently and is lim-
ited to fewer people. It is also more lasting and intimate; in fact it
may deeply obligate the participants to one another for life. The
Russians’ experience of friendship, for example, involves heavy
obligations and a nearly constant companionship where no se-
crets are allowed. In contrast to our compartmentalized practice
of having certain friends or acquaintances with whom we play
tennis and others to whom we pour out our problems, Russians
pursue closeness in its entirety (Stewart and Bennett 102). In Ja-
pan the concept of friendship also involves a complex set of ideas

04 MINDESS PMKR 77 10/18/04, 11:25 AM