Page 44 - stephen covey The seven habits of highly effective people

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart

Proactivity: The 30-Day Test

We don't have to go through the death camp experience of Frankl to recognize and develop our own
proactivity. It is in the ordinary events of every day that we develop the proactive capacity to handle
the extraordinary pressures of life. It's how we make and keep commitments, how we handle a traffic
jam, how we respond to an irate customer or a disobedient child. It's how we view our problems and
where we focus our energies. It's the language we use.
I would challenge you to test the principle of proactivity for 30 days. Simply try it and see what
happens. For 30 days work only in your Circle of Influence. Make small commitments and keep
them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the
problem.
Try it in your marriage, in your family, in your job. Don't argue for other people's weaknesses.
Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it --
immediately. Don't get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over.
Work on you. On be.
Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It's not what they're not doing
or should be doing that's the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what
you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is "out there," stop yourself. That thought is
the problem.
People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom.
People who do not will find that it withers until they are literally "being lived." They are acting out the
scripts written by parents, associates, and society.
We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say,
for most of our circumstances.
Samuel Johnson observed: "The fountain of content must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so
little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition,
will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove."
Knowing that we are responsible -- "response-able" -- is fundamental to effectiveness and to every
other habit of effectiveness we will discuss.

Application Suggestions

1. For a full day, listen to your language and to the language of the people around you. How
often do you use and hear reactive phrases such as "If only," "I can't," or "I have to"
2. Identify an experience you might encounter in the near future where, based on past experience,
you would probably behave reactively. Review the situation in the context of your Circle of Influence.
How could you respond proactively? Take several moments and create the experience vividly in your
mind, picturing yourself responding in a proactive manner. Remind yourself of the gap between
stimulus and response. Make a commitment to yourself to exercise your freedom to choose.
3. Select a problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you. Determine whether
it is a direct, indirect, or no control problem. Identify the first step you can take in your Circle of
Influence to solve it and then take that step.
4. Try the 30-day test of proactivity. Be aware of the change in your Circle of Influence.