Page 229 - An Indispensible Resource for Being a Credible Activist

OPENING
Use respectful tones.
Politely ask questions.
LISTEN!
Say “tell me more about . . .”
Or say “help me understand . . .”

UNITING
Use a respectful tone.
Use “we” statements: “I’m sure we can come to an agreement about this after
we listen to each other” or “We’ll find a way to work this out.”

DON’Ts

ATTACKING
Yelling
Sarcasm
Gossip
Being competitive

EVADING
Avoidance (unless it’s a necessary cooling off period that isn’t forever)
Not responding
Not showing up
“Forgetting”

Sometimes evasion can serve as a “cooling-down” period, which can be constructive;
however, it should be clearly stated: “I really want to discuss this with you, but I need a
cooling-off period. How about tomorrow at 4 p.m.?”

REMEMBER
It is possible to disagree in an agreeable manner.

Pay attention to tone of voice, choice of words, respect for others, and loudness.
Conflict is normal and can be a positive thing, if dealt with constructively.
All people have conflicts, misunderstandings, disagreements, and miscommunications.
What matters is how we handle them.
Tone and amount of respect used can affect the words we speak. Try this sentence
with different tones and see:

212 The H R Toolkit