Page 209 - The McKinsey Mind

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184 The McKinsey Mind

Over a time, I also grew to understand that, when it
comes to being with my family, it’s not just “quality time”
that matters, as I had been advised early on, but it’s also
“quantity time.” Children want their questions answered
now, not in three days when dad comes home. I could have
spent all my time on work if I let myself, but I needed to be
with my family. So I tried to manage my travel schedule to
get home more often and kept weekends sacred. If I had to
bring work home, I’d do it between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m., after
everyone had gone to bed.

Bob knew, early in his career, that it’s just as tough to be a one-
man band at home as it is at the office. Having someone to share
the load with can make all the difference.
What if you are single, unattached (whether by choice or by
chance), or legally barred from entering into your preferred union?
We’ve no wish to alienate anyone by talking exclusively about
marriage. Though matrimony may be the most common way to
share the burdens of life, it is by no means the only method—nor
always the most successful. Friends and family can help share the
load, too. If you rely on them to help you, remember that you owe
them the same duty of honesty and reliability that you would a
spouse.
Sharing the load means, first and foremost, being up-front
about expectations. If you expect to work every weekend for the
next five years, make sure your spouse knows it and is happy with
it. If he’s not, be prepared to compromise. Furthermore, once you
make a commitment—“I won’t work on weekends” or “I’ll cook
dinner three nights a week”—stick to it, barring life-and-death
emergencies. If you seem to be having life-and-death emergencies
every week (and you’re not dealing with matters of real life and
death, as in a trauma ward), take a hard look at your priorities.