Page 115 - Writing Winning Business Proposals

106 Writing Winning Business Proposals

and recommend solutions in a situation that was ill defined, to put it mildly.
Recognizing that these three ideas (complexity, change, and working together)
were key issues to be addressed during the proposed project, he used them (and
others) as themes throughout the document.
In the first sentence, he subtly suggests three of the themes we will discuss
here:

we appreciated being included in the evolution [i.e., “change”] of your think-
ing on this difficult project [“complexity”] and our potential involvement
[“working together”].

After narrating the past, present, and future of the improved operating concept in
the next two paragraphs, he concentrates on two of the themes, beginning with
“Yet the breadth of these changes.” From there on, he uses complex, change, and
1
related words 10 times and heightens the effect through parallelism (“breadth of
these changes,” “exceptional magnitude of the change,” “depth of the change”). He
also uses many “additive” transitions (Indeed, Yet, Next, In addition, and Finally)
to create a crescendo effect. The flourish comes in the last sentence, which is
signaled by “Finally,” underscored in importance by “no precedent exists,” and
concluded by a phrase—“complex change”—that uses both themes together.
The writer doesn’t pretend that the task is less than arduous or that he has
performed numerous studies similar to this one. Instead, he recognizes my con-
cerns (my story) and makes them his own. He knows that I’m anxious and that
my colleagues are anxious, and he even intentionally writes the section to make
me anxious, to make me recall my anxiety and the high risk involved. But at pre-
cisely the right point, in that last sentence, he compliments my organization by
suggesting that if any firm can weather the coming storm, it is RST. Well, maybe
RST. “Perhaps” RST. Despite the compliment, he implies that we cannot do it
alone; despite our considerable resources and expertise, additional support and
abilities are crucial. That support is underscored by the document’s next heading
(which I haven’t included). “How We Can Work Together” begins the methods
slot, and it continues the proposal’s third theme, “working together.”
By selecting and playing the right themes, then, the writer demonstrates to me
that he understands far more than just the logics of my situation. By the time I
finish reading the first section of his proposal, he has reinforced the qualities I
saw in him during our several hours of preproposal discussions: his sensitivity to
the complexity of human organizations (including mine) and the cultural shocks
resulting from change and his ability to work with me and my people construc-
tively and competently to implement change. As a result, he increases his and his
organization’s credibility. He makes me an accepting rather than an objecting
or rejecting reader, one much more inclined to agree with his proposal’s later