Page 105 - Becoming a Successful Manager

96 ESTABLISHING A SOLID DEPARTMENTAL FOUNDATION

but the only time I hear from you is when I screw up in some way. Your
acknowledgment, likewise, will be a variation of the previous one.
Pay attention—catch the employee doing good things.
In summary, acknowledgments of your employees’ hidden mes-
sages convey your interest in them as people, your sensitivity, and
your sincere desire to be the best manager you can be. This attitude
will help you fi nd the correct words to acknowledge your employees’
emotions. Remember that under no circumstances is it appropriate
to judge emotions. If you convey to your employees that their feel-
ings are unwarranted and inappropriate, you will create a negative,
divisive atmosphere. Similarly, if you make employees feel insulted,
you are likely to precipitate defensive reactions that will negatively
affect their productivity and your departmental culture.
You will accomplish three important goals by acknowledging
and not judging your employees’ emotions. First, your employ-
ees will feel that they can trust you and that you care. Second,
employees’ trust in you will encourage two-way communication.
And third, you will assure your employees that they are on a coop-
erative team.
To underscore the difference between the responses of some-
one who really listens and one who doesn’t, go back to each of
the fi ve statements and respond to the verbal part of the message
only. By disregarding the underlying messages and responding
to only the words, you are announcing that you are insensitive
to the speakers’ feelings and that you aren’t interested in hearing
what they really have to say. Obviously, such responses discourage
effective communication.
A manager named Mitch shared this anecdote about how
responding to only the verbal part of a message proved costly to
him. Mitch had an employee, Bill, whom he greatly valued and for
whom he would do just about anything to ensure his loyalty. In an
effort to do just that, Mitch would ask him at least once a week,