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Mastering the Art of Asking Questions 113

When you want to confi rm information, closed questions
might be your best choice because you’ll generally get “yes” or
“no” responses. You’ll get the short answers that can lead you to

specific action or agreement.
When you want to clarify, the open question will produce the
details you need to fully understand the response. Open ques-
tions enable you to seek additional data in areas you feel are
important.
When you want to expand, use the probes, echoes, and follow-up

questions that allow and encourage answers that reflect the respond-
er’s interests and priorities. Once you identify what is important to
the person, follow that lead and the person will keep talking.

Use these five techniques when you’re asking questions. Know
what you want, and choose the course that will lead you to your
destination. Know exactly where you want to go and what you want
to learn.
When you’re asking questions, view yourself as the student
of the person you’re questioning. And remember, you don’t learn
much when you are talking. That means, when you ask questions,
silence is golden. Listen—really listen. Remember also that there’s
a good reason we each have two ears but only one mouth. Listen
more than you talk when you want to gather information. If we talk
too much, we might set up barriers and not get what we want. Good
communication keeps the traffi c flowing in both directions.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Asking the right questions in the right ways does not come natu-
rally to most of us. To become comfortable with these techniques,
practice them whenever you talk with your neighbors, your fam-