Page 215 - John Kador - 301 Best Questions to Ask on Your Interview, Second Edition-McGraw-Hill (2010)

THE QUESTION LIFE CYCLE

why, call the interviewer or, better yet, send him or her a letter and
then call. The pitch goes something like this:

I received your letter telling me that you won’t be making me an
offer and I accept the decision. I need to improve my interviewing
skills and I’m asking for your help. I am asking you to be honest
about my performance and what I could have done better. If you
do, I will make you three promises. First, I promise I will not
interrupt you. Second, I promise I will not defend myself. Third,
I promise I will not contact you or your company for a year. Will
you help me?

That last appeal is important. It speaks to the desire of most HR
people to be helpful.
“I would be totally impressed with a candidate who came at me
like that,” says Rich Franklin, HR director at KnowledgePoint in
Petaluma, California. Like many HR people, Franklin is an educa-
tor. “This is a guy who wants to learn. If an HR person is any good
at all, they would jump at that opportunity,” he adds.
The key to success with this approach is to give the recruiter
enough comfort so that his or her desire to be honest with you over-
comes the reluctance to get into trouble. Most interviewers faced
with a rejected candidate fear three things: an argument, a sob story,
or a pest who might sue. Acknowledging that you accept the recruit-
er’s decision and will not try to appeal it is the first step. The three

promises you make up front are further designed to counter these
fears. The promise that you will not contact the interviewer is key.
That gives a little assurance that what the interviewer tells you won’t
come back and bite him or her. Don’t forget, the company is still free
to contact you.
If you’re going to try this strategy, I ask only one thing: demon-
strate integrity. You promised not to interrupt, so bite your tongue
and don’t interrupt. Even if the interviewer trots out a reason you
consider unfounded or unfair, let it go. You promised not to defend
yourself. Stick to that promise. It won’t be easy. Few of us have the
constitution to listen to criticism without trying to explain or justify.

194