Page 158 - Roy W. Rice - CEO Material How to Be a Leader in Any Organization-McGraw-Hill (2009)
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You Listen More Than You Talk • 139
nuances to ask about, and be able to bring up something the other person
said at a later time. “Remember how you told me to try...? I did, and
it worked.”
I’ve always followed Will Rogers’ advice, “Never miss a good chance
to shut up.”
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If you quit talking and listen, you’ll know what you know and what
the other person knows. You’ll find out why some people are good and
why some are better.
Shut out other people and distractions, and stop thinking about what
anyone else is thinking or your response. (Take off your head phones, stop
texting, turn off your cell phone, put away your PSP or BlackBerry.) Don’t
doodle; fidget with your hands, arms, or fingers; squirm; body-rock; or
get up and move around (like you have adult ADD). Instead, lean for-
ward, tilt your head a little, give some eye contact, and maybe throw in
a brow furrow; don’t glance around or act bored, disbelieving, or dis-
agreeing. Just listen to the person who is talking, remember what he or
she says, and say some of it back to that person later.
Resist the urge to interrupt/talk/respond or blurt out responses (espe-
cially if you’re posturing or self-aggrandizing at the expense of others).
It makes people anxious when they feel that you are going to interrupt.
Wait patiently; take a deep breath (well, several of them). Listen, even
if nothing is being said. Ask, “Tell me more. Can you explain that?
What do you think about that?”
Don’t quit listening if you don’t like what you’re hearing. Pay atten-
tion to complete information. Try to make sense of the data, even if you
don’t agree. Not every misguided opinion needs to be corrected by you.
Pick your battles, as they say. You’ll create calm for both of you, and the
other person will more likely listen to you also.
If you’re being reprimanded, listen quite often, and speak in very
short words.
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