Page 93 - Build a Culture of Employee Engagement with the Principles

64 Carrots and Sticks Don’t Work

As our level of respect grows for an individual, so does our
level of engagement. And when we lose respect, we disengage.
It is difficult, if not impossible, to feel a sense of commitment
to a person, team, or organization that one disrespects. There
are many reasons why we gain and lose respect for people. For
example, we may gain respect for a team member when we find
out that she does substantial volunteer work, has overcome some
challenging life circumstance or disability, just adopted a child
with special needs, or is a veteran of the armed forces. Anytime
we gain respect for others, we find ourselves being drawn to
them. We want to be associated with people we respect. Alter-
natively, we lose respect for people when we learn that they have
acted in an unscrupulous manner, for example, had an affair,
spread gossip, or taken credit for another’s work.
The concept of respect transcends time and culture. Through-
out history, civilizations have created rituals to show respect to
their gods, animals, and nature. In fact, cave drawings reflect
early man’s respect for the animals that sustained them. Ameri-
can Indians are renowned for their respect of Mother Earth and
the animals they hunt. People kill and are willing to be killed
over the issue of respect. Being disrespected even has its own
slang term that has made its way into our vernacular—“dissed.”
If you don’t think respect matters, just talk to a friend with a
disrespectful teenager at home. Or, more relevantly, consider
your reaction to being treated disrespectfully at work. Given the
importance of this concept, how exactly do we get respect?

How Do We Get Respect?

There are two fundamental and very different approaches to
getting respect. The first approach involves fear and intimi-