Page 37 - Communication in Organizations Basic Skills and Conversation Models

Communication in organizations 26

Reacting to criticism of your opinion
In general it is important to listen calmly to what the other says, and not to start
apologizing immediately. Then there are various possibilities. In the first place, you can
agree with the other person’s criticism. In this case you can revise your opinion and agree
with them. In the second place it is possible that you do not agree with the criticism. In
that case you begin with a paraphrase of what the other person has said:‘I understand
that you think like this about it, but my opinion is that…, because …’. You may convince
the other person, but people can also remain true to their opinions. In situations such as
this it is a question of difference of opinion. Often it is better to establish that there is
indeed a difference of opinion rather than endlessly bickering about who is right. In fact,
you are then holding a meta-conversation. Sometimes the conclusion may be that you
want to hear the opinion of a third party in order to reach a definite point of view or
conclusion.

Reacting to criticism about your behaviour
Whenever you receive criticism about your behaviour, you can follow roughly the same
scenario. This entails first listening calmly, and seeing if you understand the other
person’s criticism. If you do not understand the criticism, you can ask them to clarify it.
If you listen calmly, then you can also better decide whether the criticism is meant
accusingly or constructively. If the criticism is accusing, then you can react to it: ‘I get
the impression that you are blaming me for…’ If you take the criticism as constructive,
the reaction will take this into account. In both cases you will have to delve into it further:
which part of the criticism do you agree with, which part you don’t agree with. If you
agree with it, you can say: ‘I know what you mean. Let me try to explain how it came
about.’ After the explanation you can also indicate that you will try to behave differently
in future. When you do not agree with the criticism, you can react with: ‘I know what you
mean, but I do not agree with it because…’ In summary, the following points are of
importance when reacting to criticism.
1 Listen carefully and try to remain as calm as possible.
2 Ask for clarification or explanation if you still do not understand something.
3 State what you agree with.
4 State what you don’t agree with.
5 Explain how it came about.
6 Say what you are going to do about it.