Page 32 - Communication in Organizations Basic Skills and Conversation Models

Sender skills 21

HARRY: Say Charlotte, I wanted to talk to you for a minute!
CHARLOTTE: Yes, take a seat.
HARRY: I’ve come here to ask you again if that financial report is finally getting
somewhere. Are you actually busy with it? I get more of the impression that you are
trying to make a social report instead of a financial one…
CHARLOTTE: Yes Harry, but I…
HARRY: Let me finish. I’m sick of it. If the report is not ready by the end of this week,
then…
CHARLOTTE: [fairly angry by this time] Hey, listen to me for a second. If you speak to
me in that tone, then sort it out yourself. Don’t think you can speak to me in this way!

The conversation continues like this for a while, but the atmosphere is so
acrimonious that both parties part feeling furious, without a con-crete
decision having been made.

Example of the assertive style

Ronald Rosenthal has been eating with the temporary waiters. The waiters
are accustomed to playing a game of cards before their work period
actually starts. Then they do not pay much attention to the time. Whilst
Ronald finds it annoying to act as a kind of overseer, it is still part of his
job to get them back to work. That is why he seizes the moment at which
work should start.

RONALD ROSENTHAL: OK boys, it’s 12.30, let’s get on with it.
LEO LADLE: [whilst laying a card on the table] Come on Ronald, don’t be so precise.
We’re in the middle of a game.
RONALD ROSENTHAL: All right, finish this round, but after that I would like you to
start.
LEO LADLE: OK, that’s a deal.

The assertiveness lies primarily in Ronald’s calm and resolute tone. At the same time, the
assertiveness contains an appeal to the reasonableness of others. In the example we also
see that Leo Ladle wants to put Ronald’s patience to the test, but because he remains
calm and reasonable (‘All right finish this round, but after that I would like you to start’),
his request is then initiated. The phrase ‘I would like you to…’ is also important to the
wording. By saying this Ronald makes clear what he wants, without doing so in an
authoritative way.
Within this context it is relevant to point out that in western culture over the past
decades a change has taken place whereby the authority derived from titles, expertise and
hierarchical relations is not automatically accepted in many sectors of society. The
authority establishment has developed into a negotiation establishment. This means that
nowadays leaders can make their wishes known to employees in the form of orders far
less than they could previously.