Page 31 - Communication in Organizations Basic Skills and Conversation Models

Communication in organizations 20

In general three different methods can be classified here: first, the sub-assertive way;
second, the assertive way; third, the aggressive way (Alberti & Emmons, 2001; Hargie &
Dickson, 2004). Before giving a concrete example of each way, here is a short
explanation of each of these concepts:
• Subassertive means: not assertive enough. Other words which mean more or less the
same are: timid, shy and self-conscious. When you are subassertive, you let others
walk all over you, you are often dependent on others, you don’t dare to say what you
want and you are afraid of entering into conflict with others (Van der Molen, 1984).
• Aggressive means: standing up for yourself, but in an irritating way. You silence others,
or you make them ridiculous. Another term which approximates this behaviour is
authoritative.
• Assertive means: being outspoken, standing up for yourself, being independent, daring
to express your feelings. The main principle here is that you are responsible for
yourself, that you decide if what you do is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. You do not allow yourself
to be influenced by what others think of you, or by what you think that others think of
you (Paterson, 2000).

Example of the subassertive style
Jenny Jacobson knocks at the door of Freddy Fortune, who is buried in papers.

JENNY: Sorry to bother you, but could I have a word with you about something?
FREDDY: [looks up disturbed] Yes, you can, but you can see that I’m busy.
JENNY: Well, you see, it’s like this…my parents will have been married for 55 years in
two weeks time and now I would…uh…if it is not too busy, that is…actually I’d like
to take that day off…I hope you don’t mind.

In this example the subassertive style is mainly characterized by the hesitant, submissive
tone. Also the use of the word ‘actually’ often indicates subassertive behaviour. By
presenting herself so submissively, she has made it easier for the other party to react
negatively to the request. This does not mean that this always happens. The subassertive
way does sometimes hold its charms. So Freddy Fortune, who after all has known Jenny
for a while, could react quite positively to the request. The question however remains
whether or not it is comfortable for people who present themselves sub-assertively to act
in this way. Most of the time they don’t like it themselves.

Example of the aggressive style

Harry Haddock has already been waiting two weeks for the draft financial
report from Charlotte Cohen. Now it is the middle of March and he has
still not seen anything. Charlotte keeps saying how busy she is with it, but
according to Harry she spends much too much time gossiping with her
colleagues. Now he will just go and ask her how it has progressed. He
goes to her room.