Page 30 - Communication in Organizations Basic Skills and Conversation Models

Sender skills 19

reactions of the listeners during the conversation, and to pause now and then, look around
and ask if people can still follow the argument. By using these kinds of questions and by
picking up vague, sometimes nonverbal reactions, you make it clear that you are paying
attention to the listeners.

Making requests and giving instructions
Every employee in an organization regularly has to ask somebody about something.
Sometimes you have to gather information; sometimes you want to get something done.
When you are in a leadership position, you often have to give instructions. Although the
majority of people do not have many problems with carrying out instructions or setting
tasks, everyone does know of situations where they find it difficult. Here are a few
examples:

In Dinner Ltd Jenny Jacobson, who is very conscientious, has difficulty in
asking for a day off for a family party. Harry Haddock finds it hard to ask
Charlotte Cohen about the progress of last year’s financial report. Ronald
Rosenthal sometimes finds it difficult to give the temporary waiters the
order to get back to work after the lunch break.

Why is it that some people have difficulties in making requests or setting tasks? In
general we can name three different reasons for this.
In the first place some people may lack courage: they are afraid to stand up for
themselves. We saw something like this with Jenny Jacobson.
In the second place such a lack of courage often has a lot to do with the negative
expectations that one has about the reactions that the request will cause. For example, one
is afraid of receiving a negative reaction. The expectations are often based on previous
experiences. Harry Haddock knows only too well that last year there was the same
problem with regard to the financial report, and that he had a serious argument with
Charlotte Cohen. Actually he would rather not recreate such a situation.
The third possible cause is that one does not know how to make the request or give the
order. In this case it is a question of lack of skill.
Often there is a combination of these three causes. Ronald Rosenthal is not sure how
he should get his team back to work. He does not really dare to pull rank because he is
afraid that they will see him as authoritarian.
We shall now discuss a number of points that are of importance in making a request or
giving of an order. First, you should consider in advance exactly which request you wish
to make, or which order you want to give. Vague questions give vague answers and
vague orders lead to employees not knowing exactly what is expected of them. In the
second place you should choose a good moment for making a request or giving an order.
If Charlotte Cohen is talking with a number of colleagues, then it is not a good moment
for Harry Haddock to ask about the progress of the financial report. He would do better to
wait until the colleagues have left and Charlotte is alone in her room. It is usually
constructive to make it known that you want to ask something or say something quickly.
Then it is good to express your request.