Page 39 - Crucial Conversations

MASTERING CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS 2 1

H E RE'S HOW DIALOGUE WORKS
Despite the fact that we've shared the one thing, we're still left
with two questions. First, how does this free flow of meaning lead
to success? Second, what can you do to encourage meaning to
flow freely?
We'll explain the relationship between the free flow of mean­
ing and success right here and now. The second question-what
you must do to stay in dialogue, no matter the circumstances­
takes the rest of the book.

Filling the Pool of Shared Meaning
Each of us enters conversations with our own opinions, feelings,
theories, and experiences about the topic at hand. This unique
combination of thoughts and feelings makes up our personal
pool of meaning. This pool not only informs us but also propels
our every action.
When two or more of us enter crucial conversations, by defi­
nition we don't share the same pool. Our opinions differ. I
believe one thing, you another. I have one history, you another.
People who are skilled at dialogue do their best to make it safe
for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool-even
ideas that at first glance appear controversial, wrong, or at odds
with their own beliefs. Now, obviously they don't agree with
every idea; they simply do their best to ensure that all ideas find
their way into the open.
As the Pool of Shared Meaning grows, it helps people in
two ways. First, as individuals are exposed to more accurate
and relevant information, they make better choices. In a very
real sense, the Pool of Shared Meaning is a measure of a
group's IQ. The larger the shared pool, the smarter the deci­
sions. And even though many people may be involved in a
choice. when people openly and freely share ideas, the