Page 34 - Crucial Conversations

1 6 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS

this claim a bit over the top. "Come on," they chide. "You're say­
ing that the way you talk or don't talk affects your body? It could
kill you?"
The short answer is yes. The longer answer suggests that the
negative feelings we hold in, the emotional pain we suffer, and
the constant battering we endure as we stumble our way through
unhealthy conversations slowly eat away at our health. In some
cases the impact of failed conversations leads to minor problems.
In others it results in disaster. In all cases, failed conversations
never make us happier, healthier, or better off.
So how about you? What are the specific conversations that
gnaw at you the most? Which conversations (if you held them or
improved them) would strengthen your immune system, help
ward off disease, and increase your quality of life and well-being?

SUMMARY
When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions start to run
strong, casual conversations become crucial. Ironically, the more
crucial the conversation, the less likely we are to handle it well.
The consequences of either avoiding or fouling up crucial con­
versations can be severe. When we fail a crucial conversation,
every aspect of our lives can be affected-from our careers, to
our communities, to our relationships, to our personal health.
As we learn how to step up to crucial conversations-and
handle them well-with one set of skills we can influence virtu­
ally every domain of our lives.
What is this all-important skill-set? What do people who sail
through crucial conversations actually do? More importantly,
can we do it too?