Page 44 - Effective communication Skills by Dale King

view, we are always trying to convince others to see things the way we do.

People get angry at others for not seeing things the way they do. This is why
arguments tend not to be resolved between spouses or children and their
parents. One side is seeing the other as disrespectful, and the other side thinks
the other should know that they didn’t mean to be disrespectful. Neither is
willing to take the time to view things from the other side. If they would both
take a second to view things differently, they could come to a reasonable end
to the argument.

When somebody is upset with you, don’t get mad at them. Instead, ask “Why
are they upset?” When you take the time to really think about this, you will
realize that the other person misunderstood something and that it can easily
be fixed.

Building empathy is difficult. But as you continue to ask yourself how things
look from the other side, you will notice something amazing. You won’t have

to ask yourself that question as often and you will start to intuitively notice
how others are feeling.

This is going to take time, so be patient.

3. Nonverbal Empathy

When you are able to understand how a person feels or what they are
thinking, it will be easier to interact with them. There is also a nonverbal part
of interactions with others that needs a little extra attention. The knowledge
that you gain from empathy is able to help you to use the best nonverbal

communication.

Think about this, you have picked up on the fact that your friend is upset, so
you ask him, “What’s wrong?” But your tone of voice is way too cheerful.
How do you think your friend is going to view that? They won’t think you
actually care. If you change your tone, though, to sound concerned and
sympathetic, your friend will believe that you care and want to hear why they
are upset.

I know at this point, empathy seems like a lot of work, but I promise you, it
will become second nature. When you add in the need to manage your
nonverbal cues, along with everything else we have covered, empathy may
come off as overwhelming.