Page 39 - Effective communication Skills by Dale King

them cry, give them a moment. If they are becoming angry, give them a

moment to express their anger if need be, and fight the urge to become
defensive. Let them know that you would like to understand how they are
feeling. Let them know that it is okay that they feel this way. Ask a lot of
questions, and if need be, let them know that you can talk later once they feel
ready.

2. Understand your emotions.

Whether you are the emotional one or not, you need to figure out why you
are feeling what you are feeling. There are times where we think we feel
frustrated, but in actuality, we are experiencing sorrow, pain, or rejection.
Once you have figure out what you are feeling, then you can communicate it
better and help the other person.

3. Figure out if there is some form of misplaced blame.

It is extremely easy to blame a person or situation for how we are feeling.
People can feel overworked, hungry, unhappy in their marriage, stressed, or
tired, and then they assign all of the blame onto the first situation or person
that they encounter. It is likely somebody close to them as well. This is why,
if a person gets angry at you, don’t become defensive because it’s not likely
that you are the actual thing they are mad at.

4. Become more curious.

When you focus on your anger, frustration, or sadness keeps all of your focus
on yourself. Research has found that negative emotions cause a person to
become self-centered. This means that you have no room for another person’s
perspective because you are locked into your own view. People don’t take the
time to consider what the other person may be going through. This is when
curiosity should be brought in. Become curious about the reason why a
person is acting a certain way. Instead of being confrontational, show genuine

interest into why the person feels or acts a certain way. The majority of
people don’t go around with evil intentions, but a lot of people do make
mistakes and upset other people. Chances are, the person didn’t act
purposefully.

5. Have compassion.