Page 115 - Fearless Leadership

102 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

In owner language, the word I is used frequently to take personal
accountability: “I am accountable for my impact.” Owners take account-
ability for what they experience, hear, and see, and they do not blame
others.

SILOS, DIVISIVENESS, AND THE VICTIM TRIANGLE
The victim triangle describes how silos and divisions are formed within a
company: roles are defined, impenetrable boundaries built, and an us-ver-
sus-them atmosphere created. Each group—the victim, persecutor, and
co-conspirator—defends its position, has the need to be right, and gath-
ers evidence to build a case. Warring factions escalate the conflict by per-
suading others to support their position and conspire against the enemy.
Classic examples of adversarial relationships include sales versus market-
ing, operations versus corporate, staff versus operations, and global corpo-
rate leaders versus individual country leaders.
The moment a group perceives itself as being thwarted by an outside
force, the outside force becomes the persecutor. Those who agree with the
victimized group become the co-conspirators. The victim triangle is now
complete—the three roles have been filled, and all hope of collaborat-
ing to resolve differences vanishes. Positions become embedded and
entrenched, and fighting against the enemy keeps the silo and boundaries
locked in place.
Let’s return to the automatic listening loop discussed in Chapter 3 to
identify the exact point where victim mentality emerges. You may recall
the six steps: (1) something happens, (2) you have a reaction (an emotion
or feeling), (3) you form a judgment, (4) you make up a story, (5) you
search for evidence, and (6) you predict the future. Can you identify the
precise point when victim thinking takes hold? If you answered step 4—
making up a story—you are correct. Although you form a judgment in step
3, you assign roles and build your case in step 4 by inventing a story in
which you decide who is the victim, co-conspirator, and persecutor.
The central point here is everything hinges on how you tell the story.
Inside the closed loop of automatic listening, you interpret and distort the
facts to support what you believe. The story you invent determines whether
you are operating out of a small context (victim mentality) or a big con-
text (owner mentality). You are controlled by the story you invent; you are