Page 213 - Fearless Leadership

200 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

People have a burgeoning capacity to hear the truth, but leaders have
been taught to restrict and massage what they say. When leaders are not
forthright and direct, people do not trust them; committed partnerships
break down and teamwork crumbles. In a guarded and closed environ-
ment, there is a burning necessity to protect one’s own interests at the
expense of others, and people revert to unproductive, automatic behaviors.
This chapter provides you with the tools to manage indirect or emo-
tionally charged conversations with responsible straight talk. By the end
of the chapter, you will gain confidence in quickly handling difficult con-
cerns and issues, instead of postponing or avoiding them altogether. You
will learn how to communicate in a way that is direct, responsible, and
supportive.

THE PRICE OF AVOIDING DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

Talking straight responsibly is simple in principle but difficult to apply.
Some leaders soften their message. Others dump their reactions on
coworkers saying whatever is on their mind, thinking they are talking
straight. Both are incorrect: Talking straight responsibly—with emphasis
on the word responsibly—is not a license to say whatever you feel. It
requires that you be authentic, emotionally honest, and accountable for
what you say and how it impacts others.
Most leaders, by their own admission, avoid difficult or sensitive con-
versations. I have two questions for you:

1. Do you want people to talk straight to you and provide you
with candid and complete feedback?
2. Are you willing to talk straight with others and provide them
with candid and complete feedback?

The common response is to answer yes to the first question but no to
the second. We want “straight talk” from others, but we are reluctant to
talk straight to others. In interviews with leaders from diverse industries,
we asked, “Do you want people to talk straight to you?” Not surprisingly,
the vast majority answered with an unequivocal, “Yes.” The consistent
comment was “I don’t want a sugarcoated or watered-down message.
I want others to be forthright and honest with me.” Clearly, these leaders
are not afraid to hear straight talk.