Page 214 - Fearless Leadership

Talking Straight Responsibly 201

However, when we asked, “Do you consistently talk straight to others?”
their answers were littered with explanations and reasons for not talking
straight. The typical rationale was “I don’t want to damage the relation-
ship,” “I don’t like to hurt people,” or “Talking straight in our company is
a career-limiting move.” When we pressed the point and asked leaders if
they consistently talked straight to others, few answered with a definitive
yes.
The obvious conclusion: it is much easier for leaders to hear straight
talk than to give it. The probability is high that this also applies to you.
How would you answer the following questions?

• Do you find it difficult to be emotionally honest and direct?
• Do you postpone or avoid difficult conversations?
• Do you withhold your thoughts and feelings waiting for the
right moment to speak?
• Are you careful and guarded in what you disclose?
• Do you talk openly with only a select handful of people?

While you may be uncomfortable having difficult conversations, your
discomfort will be far higher if this costs you the support of others. If you
have the blind spot of avoiding difficult conversations, you can expect that
it will have a negative impact on your credibility and foster an environ-
ment of distrust.
Karla, a senior vice president in the energy industry, was tight-lipped
and closemouthed. She took the phrase “flying solo” to an extreme and
did not provide her direct reports with information about key decisions nor
did she provide candid feedback about their performance. Her personal
strategy was not to exclude; it simply was not to include. The most trou-
blesome aspect of Karla’s behavior was her unwillingness to be straight-
forward and candid. As one of her direct reports said, “You never know
where you stand with Karla. She’ll say one thing to your face and then do
something that leaves you feeling that she was not honest. I never trust
that I’m getting the full story from her.”
When we asked Karla if she talked straight to others, she said, “I tell
people what they need to know, when I feel they need to know it. With
performance reviews, I try to keep the feedback positive so people feel I’m
supportive.” In our interactions with Karla, it was clear that she was more