Page 271 - Fearless Leadership

258 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

Receiving Coaching
Start by explicitly granting permission for others to coach you and hold
you accountable. If you are a leader with a formal title and position, peo-
ple will not trust your permission until you demonstrate, over and over
again, that it is safe to coach you and that there are no negative conse-
quences. It is up to you to demonstrate that you seek and welcome coach-
ing from others.
Listen without defending, arguing, or explaining. This is not easy, espe-
cially given how awkward and imperfect most of us are in delivering coach-
ing. You will need to consciously shift gears and listen with positive
intention. Remember at all times that your committed partners are a stand
for your success and want to support you in living up to your greatness.
When you have a reaction to feedback, take accountability in the
moment and say “I’m reacting, but I do not want my reaction to stop what
you have to say. Let’s talk this through so you can help me overcome my
reaction. I want your coaching and input.”
You can also self-intervene and ask yourself questions when you notice
that you are reacting. Ask: “What assumptions am I making? Am I taking
this personally instead of hearing the contribution the individual is trying
to make?” Reactions such as arguing or explaining why you did something
simply reveal that you are human and have automatic behaviors like every-
one else.
Coaching is not useful unless committed partners are willing to apply
the coaching they receive. Before you categorically reject coaching by say-
ing “I’ve tried that before and it doesn’t work,” replace your judgment with
curiosity. Consider the coaching carefully, and try it on as if you were try-
ing on a new jacket. Check it out from many different angles to discover
something new about how you can be more effective. Then, let others
know that you have applied their coaching. Your partners need to know
that you listen and that their coaching makes a difference.

GETTING ALL ISSUES ON THE TABLE WHERE
THEY CAN BE RESOLVED
You can handle anything that is out in the open. When you are transpar-
ent, authentic, and straightforward, people feel safe to speak up and issues
are quickly resolved.