Page 267 - Fearless Leadership

254 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

Putting Accountability Where It Belongs

Let’s revisit a fundamental principle: you cannot change the behavior of
anyone but yourself. It does not matter how great your skills of persuasion
are. Changing behavior is a personal choice and does not happen by man-
date. Holding others accountable for their behavior and impact requires
understanding where accountability is at all times. Is it on your back as
you bargain for the change you want, or do you place the burden squarely
on the other person’s back so he or she is accountable for making the
choice to change?
As with all automatic behavior, avoiding discomfort is a major factor that
keeps us from holding others accountable. No one wants to deal with con-
flict or engage in a conversation that could result in discord. Instead, we
avoid handling issues directly and pass the problem on to others. The result
is poor or unproductive behavior that is tolerated for years, costing com-
panies time, money, and results.
In working with CEOs and leaders, our group has observed two com-
mon approaches that leaders take to change the behavior of others: (1) they
take accountability for how others behave and try to persuade them to
change, or (2) they hold others accountable for changing their behavior
and provide them with both support and consequences.
The first approach—taking accountability for how others behave—is
based on the flawed belief that you have the power to change the behav-
ior of others. This belief is played out in conversations where leaders use
a variety of techniques:

Pleading. “Please stop doing this,” or “I know you want to do bet-
ter, don’t you?”
Lecturing. “You should know better,” or “Let me explain what you
need to do.”
Berating. “How could you be so stupid?” or “You’re irresponsible.”
Intimidating. “One more time and you’re through,” or “If you can’t
figure this out, I’ll find someone who will.”

In these approaches, accountability rests with you and your ability to
persuade others to change. Leaders tell people “Don’t do this,” and then
people engage in the same behavior again. Then leaders say “I’m serious.