Page 270 - Fearless Leadership

Holding Each Other Accountable 257

suppliers. I request that we have a conversation with the supplier about
our expectations and our mutual accountability instead of blaming them.
Would you be willing to do this?” Having learned that being right and dog-
matic was a sure formula for shooting himself in the foot, the team leader
responded without hesitation. He agreed to join team members in meet-
ing with the supplier for the purpose of resolving the breakdown and restor-
ing the partnership.
Committed partners give each other permission to hold each other
accountable. But they do not use this as a license to criticize, devalue, or
attack each other.

Giving Coaching

Ask for permission to coach every time you provide input; once is not
enough. Simply say, “I have some coaching for you. Are you open to lis-
tening?” This allows the individual to shift gears and listen to what you
have to say. The rule is, never coach someone who has not given you
explicit and recent permission.
Once permission is granted, begin by establishing the context.
Authentically communicate your commitment to the success of the indi-
vidual, to your relationship, and to mutual business outcomes. Stating the
context and commitment out loud reminds all parties of the purpose of
coaching: to support each other in reaching a higher level of excellence.
Be direct and emotionally honest when you provide coaching, and ask
questions to understand the experience of the other person. Focus on the
unproductive behavior by separating the behavior from the commitment
of the individual so you are not indicting the person. For example, “It’s
not like you to break a commitment. When you tell me you’re going to
do something, you do it. This situation was the exception. When you did
not deliver on your commitment it had a negative impact on my group
and I need to communicate this to you.” With this statement, the person
is not “bad”; their behavior is unproductive and limiting. Further, the
coaching treats the behavior as the exception and does not generalize to
“all the time” or “in every situation.” In this way, people can listen to what
is being said without becoming defensive. On the other hand, if the behav-
ior of an individual is consistently unproductive, then examine what you
have been doing (or not doing) to allow this behavior to continue.