Page 146 - The Power to Change Anything

Surpass Your Limits 135

So, if, like Henry, you find yourself obsessing over the pos-
sibility of gorging yourself on chocolate—or maybe gambling
or spending obsessively to the point where you can scarcely
think straight—realize that there’s a set of skills you can call
into play if you want to take control of your urges.

SUMMARY: PERSONAL ABILITY
When it comes to complex tasks that matter a great deal to you
in your quest to resolve persistent problems, don’t suffer from
arrested development. Demand more from yourself than the
achievement levels you reach after minimal effort. Instead, set
aside time to study and practice new and more vital behaviors.
Devote attention to clear, specific, and repeatable actions.
Ensure that the actions you’re pursuing are both recognizable
and replicable. Then seek outside help. Insist on immediate
feedback against clear standards. Break tasks into discrete
actions, set goals for each, practice within a low-risk environ-
ment, and build in recovery strategies. Finally, make sure
that you apply the same deliberate practice tactics to physi-
cal, intellectual, and even complex social skills. Many of the
vital behaviors required to solve profound and persistent prob-
lems demand advanced interpersonal problem-solving skills
that can be mastered only through well-researched, deliberate
practice.
With instinctive demands and quick emotional reactions,
don’t let the “go” system take control from your “know” system
unless you’re facing a legitimate risk to life and limb. To regain
emotional control over your genetically wired responses, take
the focus off your instinctive objective by carefully attending
to distraction activities. Where possible, completely avoid the
battle to delay gratification by making the difficult easy, the
averse pleasant, and the boring interesting. When strong emo-
tions take over because you’ve drawn harsh, negative conclu-
sions about others, reappraise the situation by asking yourself