Page 298 - Just Promoted A 12 Month Road Map for Success in Your New Leadership Role

Creating Your New Life Integration 283

new job, through discussions with your boss, peers, or those working
for you.
11. Accept the situation and work to reduce the stress. When the situation
cannot be changed, use stress-reducing options such as exercise, a talk
with someone important to you, counseling or therapy, more sleep, or
relaxation techniques such as meditation, biofeedback, brief solitude, or
a religious activity.

Stress can have a positive effect on your life unless it reaches the point of
becoming distress. Stress is a natural part of living in our complex society. As
we pointed out previously, everyone needs a certain degree of stress to be stim-
ulated, motivated, and challenged. The key is to have stress without distress,
to keep the positive effects of stress working for you.

Principle 5. Mutual Understanding, Support, Fairness, and
Responsible Collaboration within Dual-Career Families or
with Partners Are Essential for Leaders on the Rise

Think back to the case studies of Bob and Linda Doyle and Susan and Doug Ster-
ling. Try to recall some of the issues that the couples faced. Describe how their
decisions helped or hindered each of their careers and their family cohesiveness.
What could the Doyles have done more effectively to manage their dilemma?
In a dual-career couple, the individuals pursue separate careers alongside
a commitment to their loving relationship. The following are the most com-
mon mistakes when facing major changes in either partner’s career:

■ Partners think and act in a self-centered manner and lack concern for
the effects of change on others in the family. Or they ignore their own
needs and do what they think others need.
■ They do not take time to anticipate the effects and decide if they are
willing to accept the predictable pros and cons of events. As we have
seen, these include important issues such as uprooting children from
school, loss of friends and key relationships, or loss of one partner’s job.
They don’t ask each other for help, assistance, and support. They figure
things out alone and often act without the other’s support and counsel.
■ They take on too many obligations and changes at one time, trying to do
too much in too short a period of time.
■ They don’t clarify expectations, goals, and needs with each other. It is all
too common for one spouse (traditionally the husband) to announce a