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Balancing Your Life                                            233



                              A DIFFERENT KIND OF LIFE PLANNING


                                   It has been an argument throughout this book that everything con-
                                   nects.  Mind  and  body.  Body  and  spirit.  Feelings  and  thoughts.
                                   Science and living. Learning and change. Work and home lives. To
                                   be fulfilled and successful in today’s complex world involves learn-
                                   ing to learn and using your mind to its full potential.
                                         At the heart of achieving this is the need to take control of
                                   your own life. Feeling helpless is a stressful and unhealthy state of
                                   being.  Organizations  recognize  this,  which  is  why  they  produce
                                   business plans. These seek to reflect the priorities of those working
                                   within them. They try to make sure that time is spent on what mat-
                                   ters for the organization. But, what about you as an individual in
                                   your private life? How much time do you spend setting your own
                                   priorities  and  ensuring  that  they  are  understood  and  shared  by
                                   those to whom you are close?
                                         Stephen  Covey  explored  the  idea  of  creating  a  Family
                                   Mission Statement in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. “Being
                                   proactive”  is  the  first  of  the  seven  habits  he  seeks  to  encourage.
                                   There  are  many  interesting  and  detailed  suggestions  for  putting
                                   your mission into practice as a family. However, I suspect that many
                                   busy business people see a book like that and think that it is about
                                   self-improvement and not, therefore, relevant to their working lives.
                                   I want to suggest a simple approach to getting your personal life pri-
                                   orities in order, which is, paradoxically for some business people,
                                   central to being successful in life.
                                         Its  premise  is  simplicity  itself.  Unless  you  are  happy  and
                                   doing the things that are important to you in your private life, you
                                   cannot be truly successful in your working life.
                                         Since our marriage in 1995, for both of us a second marriage,
                                   my wife and I have been spending a great deal of time seeking to
                                   understanding our priorities and living these out together. We have
                                   evolved a set of approaches that are personal to us, but I hope that
                                   even if you throw up your hands in horror at some of the ideas, you
                                   might  find  enough  resonance  in  what  I  am  saying  to  want  to
                                   develop something that works for you and your partner, or simply
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