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238 Power Up Your Mind

Stage 4: Agreeing a common destination

Have you ever stopped to work out where you both want to go? Do
you want to be in the same job in ten years’ time? What do you
want to have achieved in your life? Do you want to work for ever?
If one of you is currently looking after the family, what are your
plans?
Flicking through magazines and selecting pictures that mean
something to you can be a good way of stimulating discussion.
Talking about people you admire and why you admire them can
help. Creating an “If only” list may give you some ideas. Telling sto-
ries to each other might be fun, imagining a fantasy world in which
your wildest dreams can be realized. Sharing dreams is helpful.
Playing “If I were you I might…” works well if things are
going well. Agreeing to differ and “to give that some serious
thought” works well if you seem to be moving apart.
Take stock of what your destinations have in common. What
do you need to get to your dreams? What can you do to support
your partner in realizing their goals?

Stage 5: Reality intrudes, but not completely

So, what are you going to do together in the coming year? On no
account drift into how you are going to do it yet.
Start with the big things, the principles. These for us have
been things like:

Spending more time together during weekday evenings.
Spending time with our most special friends.
Working shorter hours.
Finding out what it would be like to work for ourselves.
Eating more organic food.

Then, think about the different areas of your life. See if you can
agree one or two things you are going to do under each heading.
Headings might be drawn from these kind of words: Us together,