Page 107 - Reading Between the Sign Intercultural Communication for Sign Language Interpreters

92 Reading Between the Signs

“You got a new hairstyle. It’s too short. It makes you look fat”
(negative); “You got a new hairstyle. It looks great! Much better
than your old one” (mixed). There is, of course, a lot of room for
individual variation within these statements. For example, whereas
a particularly blunt Deaf person may greet you with, “Oh, new
glasses. Ugh! Really ugly,” another Deaf person might put it, “Oh,
you got new glasses. Hmmm, I think I prefer the old ones. They fit
your face better. Made you look younger.”
Let us informally analyze one of the most insulting things one
can say to a hearing American: “Boy, have you gotten fat!” Priscilla
(one of my Deaf consultants on this book) and I compared how
our cultures might interpret this statement and the different ways
we would handle the situation. Priscilla says that in Deaf culture it
is better to acknowledge the fact that one’s friend has put on weight
than to try to ignore it. It shows you care. In hearing culture, on
the other hand (as I perceive it), it is polite to pretend not to notice
the extra pounds. I think to myself, “My friend has clearly put on
weight. She probably feels bad about it. She knows that I can tell,
but if I pretend I don’t notice, it will make her feel better—like it’s
not so obvious. So I will compliment her on something else (e.g.,
her dress, hair, or earrings) and avoid the subject of weight alto-
gether. I am saving her embarrassment by not mentioning it.”
In response to my inner monologue, Priscilla says that com-
ing from a Deaf perspective, she would not appreciate my attempt
to be polite. If there were some obvious physical change in her
appearance (either positive or negative) and it was not noticed by
a friend, she would feel insulted. And if her friend chose to com-
ment on an insignificant detail, like her earrings, in the face of
some larger obvious change, it would make her even more upset.
It is quite possible that not all hearing people would behave as
I described in the situation above and that not all Deaf people
would feel the same way as Priscilla did, yet this conflict high-
lights two fundamental aspects of Deaf culture: first, that the value
accorded the sharing of information may take priority over other
considerations; and second, that Deaf people feel a familial close-
ness with each other and can therefore tell each other things in a
way that presupposes an intimate relationship.
A couple of times, in talking with some Deaf people about this
manifestation of straight talk, I was assured that while it was true
that other Deaf people do use straight talk, they themselves con-
sidered it to be rude behavior and would never engage in it. Ironi-

05 MINDESS PMKR 92 10/18/04, 12:00 PM