Page 145 - stephen covey The seven habits of highly effective people

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and interest payment schedule, and he was suing the bank to avoid the foreclosure. He needed
additional funding to finish and market the land so that he could repay the bank, but the bank refused
to provide additional funds until scheduled payments were met. It was a chicken-and-egg problem
with undercapitalization.
In the meantime, the project was languishing. The streets were beginning to look like weed fields,
and the owners of the few homes that had been built were up in arms as they saw their property values
drop. The city was also upset over the "prime land" project falling behind schedule and becoming an
eyesore. Tens of thousands of dollars in legal costs had already been spent by the bank and the
developer and the case wasn't scheduled to come to court for several months.
In desperation, this developer reluctantly agreed to try the principles of Habits 4, 5, and 6. He
arranged a meeting with even more reluctant bank officials.
The meeting started at 8 A.M. in one of the bank conference rooms. The tension and mistrust
were palpable. The attorney for the bank had committed the bank officials to say nothing. They were
only to listen and he alone would speak. He wanted nothing to happen that would compromise the
bank's position in court.
For the first hour and a half, I taught Habits 4, 5, and 6. At 9:30 I went to the blackboard and wrote
down the bank's concerns based on our prior understanding. Initially the bank officials said nothing,
but the more we communicated win-win intentions and sought first to understand, the more they
opened up to explain and clarify.
As they began to feel understood, the whole atmosphere changed and a sense of momentum, of
excitement over the prospect of peacefully settling the problem was clearly evident. Over the
attorney's objections the bank officials opened up even more, even about personal concerns. "When
we walk out of here the first thing the bank president will say is, 'Did we get our money?' What are we
going to say?"
By 11:00, the bank officers were still convinced of their rightness, but they felt understood and were
no longer defensive and officious. At that point, they were sufficiently open to listen to the developer's
concerns, which we wrote down on the other side of the blackboard. This resulted in deeper mutual
understanding and a collective awareness of how poor early communication had resulted in
misunderstanding and unrealistic expectations, and how continuous communication in a win-win spirit
could have prevented the subsequent major problems from developing.
The shared sense of both chronic and acute pain combined with a sense of genuine progress kept
everyone communicating. By noon, when the meeting was scheduled to end, the people were positive,
creative, and synergistic and wanted to keep talking.
The very first recommendation made by the developer was seen as a beginning win-win approach
by all. It was synergized on and improved, and at 12:45 P.M. the developer and the two bank officers
left with a plan to present together to the Home Owners' Association and the city. Despite subsequent
complicating developments, the legal fight was aborted and the building project continued to a
successful conclusion.
I am not suggesting that people should not use legal processes. Some situations absolutely require
it. But I see it as a court of last, not first, resort. If it is used too early, even in a preventive sense,
sometimes fear and the legal paradigm create subsequent thought and action processes that are not
synergistic.

All Nature is Synergistic

Ecology is a word which basically describes the synergism in nature -- everything is related to
everything else. It's in the relationship that creative powers are maximized, just as the real power in
these Seven Habits is in their relationship to each other, not just in the individual habits themselves.