Page 27 - stephen covey The seven habits of highly effective people

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart

Either way -- authoritarian or permissive -- you have the golden egg mentality. You want to have
your way or you want to be liked. But what happens, meantime, to the goose? What sense of
responsibility, of self-discipline, of confidence in the ability to make good choices or achieve important
goals is a child going to have a few years down the road? And what about your relationship? When he
reaches those critical teenage years, the identity crises, will he know from his experience with you that
you will listen without judging, that you really, deeply care about him as a person, that you can be
trusted, no matter what? Will the relationship be strong enough for you to reach him, to communicate
with him, to influence him?
Suppose you want your daughter to have a clean room -- that's P, production, the golden egg. And
suppose you want her to clean it -- that's PC, Production Capability. Your daughter is the goose, the
asset, that produces the golden egg.
If you have P and PC in balance, she cleans the room cheerfully, without being reminded, because
she is committed and has the discipline to stay with the commitment. She is a valuable asset, a goose
that can produce golden eggs.
But if your paradigm is focused on Production, on getting the room clean, you might find yourself
nagging her to do it. You might even escalate your efforts to threatening or yelling, and in your desire
to get the golden egg, you undermine the health and welfare of the goose.
Let me share with you an interesting PC experience I had with one of my daughters. We were
planning a private date, which is something I enjoy regularly with each of my children. We find that
the anticipation of the date is as satisfying as the realization.
So I approached my daughter and said, "Honey, tonight's your night. What do you want to do?"
"Oh, Dad, that's okay," she replied
"No, really," I said, "What would you like to do?"
"Well," she finally said, "what I want to do, you don't really want to do."
"Really, honey," I said earnestly, "I want to do it. No matter what, it's your choice."
"I want to go see Star Wars," she replied. "But I know you don't like Star Wars. You slept through
it before. You don't like these fantasy movies. That's okay, Dad."
"No, honey, if that's what you'd like to do, I'd like to do it."
"Dad, don't worry about it. We don't always have to have this date." She paused and then added,
"But you know why you don't like Star Wars? It's because you don't understand the philosophy and
training of a Jedi Knight."
"What?"
"You know the things you teach, Dad? Those are the same things that go into the training of a Jedi
Knight."
"Really? Let's go to Star Wars!"
And we did. She sat next me and gave me the paradigm. I became her student, her learner. It
was totally fascinating. I could begin to see out of a new paradigm the whole way a Jedi Knight's basic
philosophy in training is manifested in different circumstances.
That experience was not a planned P experience; it was the serendipitous fruit of a PC investment.
It was bonding and very satisfying. But we enjoyed golden eggs, too, as the goose -- the quality of the
relationship -- was significantly fed.

Organizational PC

One of the immensely valuable aspects of any correct principle is that it is valid and applicable in a
wide variety of circumstances. Throughout this book, I would like to share with you some of the ways
in which these principles apply to organizations, including families, as well as to individuals.