Page 37 - stephen covey The seven habits of highly effective people

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart

before they got better, and everyone knew it.
So on the third day, we decided to focus on the proactive question, "What is our response? What are
we going to do? How can we exercise initiative in this situation?" In the morning we talked about
managing and reducing costs. In the afternoon we discussed increasing market share. We
brainstormed both areas, then concentrated on several very practical, very doable things. A new spirit
of excitement, hope, and proactive awareness concluded the meetings.
At the every end of the third day, we summarized the results of the conference in a three-part
answer to the question, "How's business?"
Part one: What's happening to us is not good, and the trends suggest that it will get worse before it
gets better
Part two: But what we are causing to happen is very good, for we are better managing and reducing
our costs and increasing our market share
Part three: Therefore, business is better than ever
Now what would a reactive mind say to that? "Oh, come on. Face facts. You can only carry this
positive thinking and self-psych approach so far. Sooner or later you have to face reality."
But that's the difference between positive thinking and proactivity. We did face reality. We faced
the reality of the current circumstance and of future projections. But we also faced the reality that we
had the power to choose a positive response to those circumstances and projections. Not facing reality
would have been to accept the idea that what's happening in our environment had to determine us.
Businesses, community groups, organizations of every kind -- including families -- can be proactive.
They can combine the creativity and resourcefulness of proactive individuals to create a proactive
culture within the organization. The organization does not have to be at the mercy of the environment;
it can take the initiative to accomplish the shared values and purposes of the individuals involved.

Listening to our Language

Because our attitudes and behaviors flow out of our paradigms, if we use our self-awareness to
examine them, we can often see in them the nature of our underlying maps. Our language, for
example, is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people.
The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility.
"That's me. That's just the way I am." I am determined. There's nothing I can do about it.
"He makes me so mad!" I'm not responsible. My emotional life is governed by something outside
my control.
"I can't do that. I just don't have the time." Something outside me -- limited time -- is controlling
me.
"If only my wife were more patient." Someone else's behavior is limiting my effectiveness.
"I have to do it." Circumstances or other people are forcing me to do what I do. I'm not free to
choose my own actions.
Reactive Language: There's nothing I can do. That's just the way I am. He makes me so mad.
They won't allow that. I have to do that. I can't. I must. If only.
Proactive Language: Let's look at our alternatives. I can choose a different approach. I control
my own feelings. I can create an effective presentation. I will choose an appropriate response. I
choose. I prefer. I will.
That language comes from a basic paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the
transfer of responsibility. I am not responsible, not able to choose my response.
One time a student asked me, "Will you excuse me from class? I have to go on a tennis trip."
"You have to go, or you choose to go?" I asked.
"I really have to," he exclaimed.