Page 96 - stephen covey The seven habits of highly effective people

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart

momentary, unconscious showing of love to his little brother.
What a powerful, personal lesson that experience was to me then and is even now. People are very
tender, very sensitive inside. I don't believe age or experience makes much difference. Inside, even
within the most toughened and calloused exteriors, are the tender feelings and emotions of the heart.

Keeping Commitments

Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit; breaking one is a major withdrawal. In fact,
there's probably not a more massive withdrawal than to make a promise that's important to someone
and then not to come through. The next time a promise is made, they won't believe it. People tend to
build their hopes around promises, particularly promises about their basic livelihood.
I've tried to adopt a philosophy as a parent never to make a promise I don't keep. I therefore try to
make them very carefully, very sparingly, and to be aware of as many variables and contingencies as
possible so that something doesn't suddenly come up to keep me from fulfilling it.
Occasionally, despite all my effort, the unexpected does come up, creating a situation where it
would be unwise or impossible to keep a promise I've made. But I value that promise. I either keep it
anyway, or explain the situation thoroughly to the person involved and ask to be released from the
promise.
I believe that if you cultivate the habit of always keeping the promises you make, you build bridges
of trust that span the gaps of understanding between you and your child. Then, when your child
wants to do something you don't want him to do, and out of your maturity you can see consequences
that the child cannot see, you can say, "Son, if you do this, I promise you that this will be the result." If
that child has cultivated trust in your word, in your promises, he will act on your counsel.

Clarifying Expectations

Imagine the difficulty you might encounter if you and your boss had different assumptions
regarding whose role it was to create your job description.
"When am I going to get my job description?" you might ask.
"I've been waiting for you to bring one to me so that we could discuss it," your boss might reply.
"I thought defining my job was your role."
"That's not my role at all. Don't you remember? Right from the first, I said that how you do in the
job largely depends on you."
"I thought you meant that the quality of my job depended on me. But I don't even know what my
job really is."
"I did exactly what you asked me to do and here is the report."
"I don't want a report. The goals was to solve the problem -- not to analyze it and report on it."
"I thought the goal was to get a handle on the problem so we could delegate it to someone else."
How many times have we had these kinds of conversations?
"You said..."
"No, you're wrong! I said..."
"You did not! You never said I was supposed to..."
"Oh, yes I did! I clearly said..."
"You never even mentioned..."
"But that was our agreement..."
The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations
around roles and goals. Whether we are dealing with the question of who does what at work, how
you communicate with your daughter when you tell her to clean her room, or who feeds the fish and