Page 75 - The Language of Humour

62 ‘CRIKEY, THAT’S A HARD ONE!’
Activity with text
Do these cause laughter, offence or irritation for you? Is it possible to
explain what makes you laugh? Who might find them funniest or most
offensive?

1 If you’re on acid and you think you can fly—take off from
the fuckin’ ground.
2 Gwendolyn, a young Welsh woman, returned from her
honeymoon. Her mother asked how it went. ‘Oh, mother,
what a penis!’ ‘No, Gwendolyn, you mean “What
happiness”.’
3 Doctor: You’ve got acute angina. Female patient: I haven’t
got a bad pair of tits either.
4(Card showing a fox hunt in the background and a pair of
hedgehogs watching in the foreground) Caption: The
hedgehogs weren’t the only ones around with pricks on
their backs that morning.
5 My brain is my second favourite organ. (Woody Allen)
6 Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it
out, you lose interest.
7 When I’m good, I’m very very good, but when I’m bad, I’m
better. (Mae West)
8 I had a cold shower and felt rosy all over. Then she slapped
my face.
9 Three nuns who died were tested by St Peter before being
allowed into heaven. He asked them a question in turn.
‘What is the name of the first man?’ ‘Adam.’ ‘OK, go in.’
‘What is the name of the first woman?’ ‘Eve.’ ‘Right.’
Then he asked the third, ‘What were the first words that
Eve said to Adam?’ ‘Crikey, that’s a hard one!’ ‘That’s
right. In you go.’