Page 206 - Writing Winning Business Proposals

CHAPTER 12

Writing the

Benefits Section

I

began this book with a kind of quiz as a way of introducing the concept of
generic structure. I discussed how the generic structure of proposals has six
slots, the last of which is benefits. Let’s begin this chapter on the benefits section
with another quiz, which comprises the three statements in Figure 12.1.
It’s eminently clear that benefits play an important part in selling, whether
you’re hawking beer at the ballpark (or at a cricket or rugby match) or submitting
a million-dollar proposal to a Fortune 100 firm.
Let’s consider the last major part of one of those proposals, a typical proposal,
perhaps one of yours written to me and an organization like mine. Your docu-
ment begins informally and maintains a friendly and informal “we can work
together” tone. It conveys the right chemistry; it’s responsive to my needs and
contains some benefits; and, yes, it even includes a few themes. But in the last
section, call it “Timing and Costs,” the tone changes dramatically and becomes
abrupt. Although the proposal began in a friendly way, now it seems distant.
Although it began informally, even addressing me by my first name, now it seems
official and formal, with phrases such as “Invoices are payable upon receipt,” and
“We are also reimbursed for expenses,” and “It is our policy to. . . .”
Of course, you can and should try to change the tone so that your fees slot is
more aligned in tone with what has preceded it. But information in that slot will
always seem relatively distant and official, and sometimes it will have to be. So

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