Page 296 - Writing Winning Business Proposals

APPENDIX F

Using the Right Voice

Determining How Your Proposal Should “Speak”

ome years ago, I came across a good illustration of rhetorical voice, a
Swriter’s or presenter’s construction of her persona, the character she plays in
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a particular message. When you and I are talking face-to-face, we unconsciously
adjust our manner of speaking so that we project the appropriate sides of ourselves
to achieve our goals. You don’t speak the same way to me, your potential client, as
you do to your spouse or your children or your acquaintances or the taxi driver
who delivered you to my door. You project certain aspects of yourself that you
want me to see or hear. You speak in a certain “voice.” When I’m reading your
proposal, however, you’re no longer there, but your voice is, speaking through
the words on the page. If I’ve come to know you as hard-working, ambitious, and
fast on your feet, I’d be taken aback if the voice in your proposal were entirely
different.
The good illustration I’m referring to came in the form of two drafts of a
progress report a consultant shared with me. The consultant was engaged in a
five-week feasibility study. Because of the study’s urgency, her proposal had con-
tained a workplan with well-defined deadlines and progress reviews. Despite
careful planning, however, after three weeks, the study was three days behind
schedule, in part because questionnaires submitted to employees had not been
returned on time. Here are two sentences from an early draft:

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