Page 292 - Writing Winning Business Proposals

A Few Comments About Writing Effective Sentences (and Paragraphs) 283

is a fragment; the second a complete sentence. To correct the parallelism, make
both into fragments or both into sentences. Although the items in the second
group are parallel to each other, the third group contains an item not parallel
with the others. Again, the solution is to make all four items into complete sen-
tences or to make all four into fragments. No problem would exist if the #2 list
contained all sentences and the #3 list contained all fragments, because each
group is a separate list. (By the way, although the usage varies, it’s not always nec-
essary to include end punctuation—for example, a period—after each element in
a list because the list itself can be a form of punctuation.)
So far, I’ve given you two reasons to use parallelism: You can avoid sounding
stupid, and you can ensure that your writing flows, that it’s coherent. There’s
a third reason: You can increase the stylishness of your sentences. Now most
business documents are written in what’s called a plain style because documents
need to be used efficiently. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t incorporate some
flourishes, occasionally and judiciously. Effective parallelism can help avoid
monotony by creating interesting rhythms, as Thomas Jefferson knew so well:

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the
current.

If Jefferson isn’t to your taste, at least in a business context, perhaps the following is:

Most important, we will ensure that simple things get done correctly: that all
workers are doing their jobs, that routine responsibilities aren’t falling through
the cracks, that simple maintenance and housekeeping are provided, that
there are proper controls of raw materials and work in process, that schedul-
ing is done effectively, and that all activities are aimed to flow as smoothly as
possible during the transition.

Here we have what I call the persuasive force of style. Perhaps just as important as
the content in this long sentence is the long string of clauses that suggest a flurry,
a whirlwind, of activity. Whether you’re writing or speaking, how you express
yourself can be just as persuasive as what you say. Good parallelism can be the
“how” that lets the “what” sing.

Write Coherent Paragraphs

As I said in the last section, when you read a paragraph that flows, it has coher-
ence. The ideas move one from the other smoothly, and you don’t get lost because