Page 207 - Appreciative Leadership

180 Appreciative Leadership

you. In other words, express your creative spirit in ways that are natu-

ral and energizing to you, that reflect self-love, and are appropriate
to the time and the situation. Self-expression that leaves other people

feeling criticized or that blocks their well-intended efforts is not on
the path of integrity. It is important to balance your need for self-
expression with the needs of the people with whom you work. Your
integrity depends on your capacity for “emotional intelligence.” 8
When we met Sue Ann she was a manager with big ideas and a big
voice. She was powerful—just not positively so—because she inter-
rupted people, talked longer and louder than anyone, and imposed her
ideas on a regular basis. She didn’t realize how inappropriate her style
of communication was until she was denied a promotion for the third
time. She asked for coaching. It was simple: She needed to learn to be
positively powerful. She needed to learn to demonstrate the one thing
she felt she never received: listening. It took a few months of studying
other managers’ communication styles and replicating the best, but
she did it. She learned to sincerely listen and then to express her cre-

ative and generally very relevant ideas. Th e payoff was a new job in a
new company in a city where she had always dreamed of living.

Make Value-Based Decisions
Align your decisions with what you tell people is important to you. In
other words, make conscious decisions based on your values. Mark
shared this story about how his wife lives her values and beliefs:

My wife is a physical therapist and a Pilates instructor. She can
make more money doing physical therapy, but she believes

that Pilates is often much better for people. She will oft en tell
clients that they don’t need physical therapy and instead she’ll
recommend Pilates. It costs the client much less, and their
results are much better. Although my wife gets less income,
she wouldn’t consider doing anything else. Her core beliefs
and integrity shine through.