Page 211 - Appreciative Leadership
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184 Appreciative Leadership
• To help those in need yet empower independence
• To honor cultural differences yet create shared meaning
This list could go on. Relationships are at the heart of our identi-
ties, our sense of community, and our ways of working. We live in
an implicitly interconnected world. Relatedness is a given that can be
strengthened or weakened by the way we communicate and interact
with others and all living beings. Appreciative leaders nurture the
bonds of relatedness by acting appropriately to the time and situation.
They are students of humanity, open to learning about and accepting
other people’s ways of working and living. They believe in the essential
goodness of all people, and they are willing to relate to them in ways
that generate joy, happiness, and well-being for all.
One of the easiest ways to step off the path of integrity is to do
something relationally inappropriate. It might be accidental yet based
on habitual assumptions, such as calling a male nurse “Doctor” or the
female physician “Nurse.” Or it might be something unconscious or
fear-based, such as hiring someone not suited for a job to ensure that
you have no competition. It might even be something blatantly inap-
propriate such as yelling at people or criticizing them for not meeting
expectations that you failed to communicate.
Remember: When you are off the path of integrity, it does not mat-
ter how you got off. What matters is how graciously and aptly you get
back on.
Apologies help; and so does forgiveness. To say that you are sorry
for unintended consequences of your decisions and actions does
not mean that you were wrong. It means that you have the strength
of character to help restore wholeness to someone else or some other
group. For example, when Alex expressed concern over a series of
business decisions his partner, Catherine, had made without involv-
ing him, she immediately recognized her oversight, apologized, and
asked for ways that she could make things right. Having both shared
his concern and been genuinely heard and acknowledged, Alex
promptly forgave her.